I can't see romcoms because they're too painful

  • Christianna: Any interest in "Love and Other Drugs?"
  • Me: Oh my god, I just threw up in my mouth.
  • Christianna: So, that's a yes?
  • Me: Wait, Jake Gyllenhaal isn't a gay cowboy? Bogus.
  • Christianna: He's so pretty.
  • Me: I can't do romantic comedies. They are literally unwatchable for me. You see, my father was a romcom screen writer and he went insane perfecting "Spawn with the Wind," a Spawn/Jennifer Aniston romcom crossover movie. He killed himself by watching the entire discography of "Friends" and...and I found his body.
  • Christianna: You're on the drugz.

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