I’m bigger than Jesus, already

So, after a lot of karaoke, my mom constantly calling and checking if I’m practicing for my American Idol audition (pssst I’m not auditioning), and the onset of my quarter life crisis I’ve decided to go ahead and become a rock star.  And when I say become a rock star, I mean that I’ve placed a craigslist ad looking for folk musicians, because you know how rich and famous folk stars are (can you name a Woodie Guthrie song?).  So, I mean, I’m about halfway to being the next Madonna, or Cyndi Lauper, or Dolly Parton.  You guys can all go ahead and send me your bras and t-shirts for autographs.  Lets face it, I won’t have time in a few days with all the touring and the drugs and the hookers.