Arts n’ Farts

This week was Art Fair, which I guess is cool, unless you want to live in Ann Arbor in any sort of…well, livable way.  Ann Arbor is not really a big city as it is, but when Art Fair rolls into town it completely shuts down all major roads and the streets become filled with obese baby boomers from all over the midwest.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t totally hate Art Fair.  I really love carney food, and there is tons to be had at Art Fair albeit at a ridiculous price.  I have two somewhat funny anecdotes to relay about Art Fair.

1.  The first day of Art Fair me and Big Baby Bryan were walking up Liberty to procure some carney food and were casually looking at the wares.  Another thing you might not know about Art Fair is that everything is a minimum of $50.  People come from out of town and spend a years worth of salary on a few shitty digitally manipulated photographs and a corndog, no joke.  Anyway, we were walking and this dude behind us says to his girlfriend (or more likely his fag hag), “What is the deal with all this junk?  Does this art fair have, like, lower standards or something?  I mean, do you call this art?”  A.  Shut up jackass, and B.  you’re wearing Hollister cargo shorts and have frosting tipped hair, so I’m pretty sure you’ve given up your right to decide what “art” is.

2.  We went to see a band at Art Fair because a friend of ours knew someone in it and suggested it.  I won’t mention the band since it’s originally from Detroit, but it was pretty rough to listen to.  It was also awkward because we had to sit in the front row for some reason since we knew someone in the band which made it extra uncomfortable when I wasn’t participating in the audience participation portion of songs.  It felt sort of like falling asleep in a class with only five people in it.  Also, this was a crazy-ass hippy band complete with lyrics like “every smile is a revolution” and “let your love light shine.”  Needless to say, I did a lot of looking around at other people.  While I was doing this I happened to notice a blind guy walking by with his girlfriend and couldn’t stop thinking about how much worse this band must sound to him.  You know how they say that if you lose a sense your other ones get more acute?  No wonder he didn’t pull up a chair.